COMING OUT THE OTHER SIDE OF DIVORCE
8 Tips to Help you Through Midlife Divorce
by Gina Mitchell
“One of the most courageous decisions you’ll ever make is to let go of whatever is hurting your heart and your soul ” – Brigitte Nicole
Gina shares her 8 tips to guide you through midlife divorce to help you or someone you know going through this challenging time.
Divorce is a significant life event that can be difficult for anyone to go through, and for midlife women, it can be particularly challenging.
Whether you’re in your 40s, 50s, or beyond, getting divorced can mean a major upheaval in your life, your finances, and your relationships.
However, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone, and there are things you can do to make the process smoother and less stressful going through midlife divorce.
Gina believes with the right support you can move through midlife divorce in a healthy way ensuring your emotional and physical wellbeing.
So here’s Gina’s 8 top tips if you or someone you know is going through a midlife divorce.
1. Take Care of You Through Midlife Divorce!
Divorce can be emotionally and physically draining, and it’s important to prioritise your own well-being during this time. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating healthily, and exercising regularly. Take time to do things that you enjoy, whether that’s reading, watching movies, or spending time with friends. You may also want to consider seeing a therapist, counsellor or a qualified coach to help you work through your feelings and emotions.
2. Be Honest with Yourself
It’s easy to fall into the trap of blaming yourself or your ex-partner for the divorce, but it’s important to be honest with yourself about what caused the split. Reflect on your own behaviour and actions, and try to identify any patterns or issues that may have contributed to the breakdown of your marriage. This can be a difficult process, but it can also be incredibly empowering, as it can help you to grow and learn from your experiences.
3. Seek Professional Help
Midlife divorce can be complicated, particularly if you and your ex-partner have shared assets, children, or other complex issues to deal with. Seeking the advice of a lawyer or other professionals can help you to navigate these challenges and ensure that your interests are protected. It’s important to find professionals who specialise in divorce, as they will have the expertise and experience to guide you through the process.
It’s also important to be aware and financially savvy during this time, and to ensure that you have a solid understanding of your financial situation. This would most probably involve your accountant as well as your financial planner.
Also be careful about advice of friends and family. Their emotions may be running high too and taking their advice about finances and other matters when they’re not trained could be detrimental.
4. Communicate Effectively
Communication is key during a divorce, particularly if you and your ex-partner have children together. Try to keep your discussions civil and respectful, and focus on finding solutions that work for both of you. If you’re struggling to communicate effectively, you may want to consider working with a qualified coach to help you to work through your differences.
5. Focus on the Future
Divorce can be a difficult and painful process, but it’s important to focus on the future and the opportunities that lie ahead. This can be a time to reinvent yourself, to pursue new hobbies and interests, and to build new relationships. Try to stay positive and look for the silver linings in your situation, even if they may not be immediately apparent. It’s called ‘flipping the script’ and it really helps you to focus on the positive.
6. Don't Rush into Another Relationship
It can be tempting to jump into another relationship after a divorce, particularly if you’re feeling lonely or vulnerable. However, it’s important to take your time and focus on yourself before you start dating again. This can be a time to rediscover yourself and your own interests, and to build a strong foundation for any future relationships. A qualified coach can help you here. It’s important that you don’t repeat the same unconscious patterns that you may have had in your previous relationship.
7. Stay Connected with your Social Network
Divorce can be isolating, but it’s important to stay connected with your support network, whether that’s friends, family, or a support group. A qualified coach could also be part of that network. These people can provide you with emotional support, practical advice, and a sense of community during a difficult time.
7. Be Kind to Yourself
Finally, it’s important that you treat yourself with compassion and forgive yourself.