What should we do?

Law of Attraction OR Surrender?


“It’s time we recognise that we’re here to create out of love, not out of fear” – Malise Banks

Should we manifest via the Law of Attraction OR just Surrender?

This is a question I have been sitting with. Have you ever asked yourself this?

For the longest time I had this huge inner conflict. I thought, “Okay, I’m a manifester and creator. I can create my reality, write down my dreams and visions and work towards them!”

On the flip side I was aware that surrendering would take me into peace, flow, grace, ease and abundance in a miraculous way that I can’t even begin to explain. Surrendering means having the trust to ‘allow’ whatever is meant to come in and not being so tunnel visioned about my goals that I don’t see opportunities when they arise.

These two parts; manifesting, creating and achieving through the Law of Attraction, versus letting go in total surrender were such a conflict within me!  Is this you too?

My External Programming

I was raised as a goal setter and high achiever and this programming was ingrained in me! This also caused a lot of anxiety and stress in my life. An internal pressure to produce results and achieve was a constant striving with no satiation. It was my ‘normal’ growing up.

Discovering The Law of Attraction

Discovering the Law of Attraction and the process behind it was very exciting to me in my twenties. It felt right and made sense – bridging the gap between the mind and spirit.

So, I felt it was the holistic approach I was missing rather than just sitting down and persevering ambitiously through goals.

The Law of Attraction fully engaged me working with a powerful principle of nature based on the Law of Mirroring or the Principle of Correspondence.

The Concept of Surrendering

In my thirties and forties, I moved into a new paradigm where I became aware of the concept of letting go and surrendering. Again, I felt a complete alignment to this concept.

My heart loved it!

All the time I wondered how these two parts could work together and I spent many hours contemplating this paradox. So immersed in this paradox, I even wrote poetry about it and spent many meditations in prayerful questioning.

So, Law of attraction or surrender?

It gradually became clearer to me how I could reconcile these two parts.

Today, I’m so happy to share with you that I now understand these two concepts and so I share this with you now.

This is especially for those who have had the same internal conflict.

Malise Banks - Ruffle Mentoring

The self-development industry can be a trap!

Firstly, we need to remember that a lot of the focus within the personal development industry kind of stops before getting holistic or spiritual in nature. Personal development for many is about creating more of the material wealth and worldly attachments in life than it is about reaching some sort of higher consciousness or awareness.

The self-development industry can be a trap. It was a stepping stone for me – but people can get people stuck in a paradigm.

In my younger years I was extremely interested and attracted to this industry. I thought it was the answer to a deep call of mine to know how I operated and how the mind worked. And that’s the thing, this industry tends to be all mind-based. There isn’t much emphasis on the heart… yet!

I was quite involved in the self-development industry. My partner at the time was a business development manager for many different industry key figures such as Anthony Robbins. Because of this, I was able to participate in a lot of events and I learned a lot about how that industry worked.

But there were certain aspects of it that didn’t align and feel true to me.

Empty Promises!

Being grateful for this discernment in my life, I’ve always had this inner quest to find the truth of things. It didn’t matter how much pain that truth would bring me, I just had to know, and I couldn’t continue something if I knew it wasn’t true.

My inbuilt system of integrity has kept me pushing forward no matter how uncomfortable I get!

And so, I didn’t settle in the self-development industry.

I saw stuff that I didn’t feel aligned with. Yes, I saw a lot of empty promises.

However, I wasn’t completely conscious or aware of what was missing yet but I knew there was something more to find.

'The Secret' of the Law of Attraction

My first brush with the Law of Attraction was watching the infamous documentary, “The Secret”. Do you remember the big fuss about it?

The Secret was the first kind of mainstream look at the Law of Attraction. We learned that it was a principle of the universe.  

However, the focus again was on wealth development, on material accumulation and security in the external world. It seemed to be about satiating our material desires and external ideas of success.

Again, this just didn’t align with my heart. I knew something was missing. So, I continued to be an explorer and curious, something that’s just in my nature. Next step – I started to learn about the heart.

Law of Attraction OR Surrender?

It was in my thirties when I discovered heart teachings. I learned to discern the difference between the head and the heart. You can operate your whole life from the head without really tapping into your heart.

We can easily have a good solid wall built around that heart and seemingly be successful in the external world.

That’s where I believe a lot of people who are stuck in the self-development industry are right now. They are closed-hearted but very much mind-based.

Attending a powerful heart-based workshop, I learned about the concept of polarity and how the mind is based in polarity. When you manifest purely from the mind you’re going to attract the equal and opposite manifestation in the same amount of energy.

However, when you are manifesting from the love in your heart, you’re not in polarity anymore.

This is because the mind is based in this world and is only temporary.

Living from Your Heart

The heart, on the other hand, is the connection to Source; this is our universal antenna to receive wisdom, intuition, intelligence and guidance to move forward in each moment, one step at a time.

Our heart enables us to receive inspiration.

This means our heart operates on a completely different system than our mind.

So, Law of attraction or surrender?

I began to understand that there are two ways to manifest; manifesting from the head or manifesting from the heart.

When a goal is purely mind-based it is out of coherence with the heart. You’re not going to be receiving inspiration or spirit to manifest what is appropriate for you in your evolution and growth towards more wholeness and unity.

When you manifest purely from the mind, without the love of the heart, you will also get that equal and opposite reaction in your life in some way. If it’s not truly from your heart that can be dangerous. And, it can cause all sorts of chaos in your life, misalignment and unwanted karma.

How Surrender Works

And so, we must surrender to the hearts wishes for all of our dreams and desires.

Surrender is manifesting from your heart and it’s quite simple when you see it this way.

  • The heart doesn’t operate on a timetable according to what the latest big-ticket item is that you need in order to keep up with the Joneses.
  • The heart doesn’t operate based on the external world within the simulation. The heart operates outside of time and space enabling you to receive exactly what your soul needs in its evolution in any given moment. It’s not about being spoiled by receiving all of your external desires that the world tells you are important.
  • The heart shows you how to move towards true creatorship. 
  • The mind, on the other hand, is often about running away from fear. What the mind wants to manifest is usually a reaction to its programming; it’s traumas, it’s bad memories and experiences, and its delusional value system.


So, when we manifest, we want to be in the heart space.


How do you move into Your heart space?

Starting off, you move into a state of gratitude, thanking Source for the continual evolution of your soul.

While you’re in this world based in duality, it’s not all about finding the perfect life, at all.

Rather, it’s about growing and expanding through polarity so that the heart can provide you with the perfect manifestations to continue your evolution.

Yes, your heart can manifest for you a beautiful sacred relationship or a sanctuary that you can live in that provides quiet so you can focus on something you’re giving to the world.

Your heart might bring you a new friendship that expands you and challenges you out of some old karma or trauma.

You see, surrendering is not getting stuck on a particular manifestation or dream that you have put all the details into.

And you can use discernment if you are confused about whether a dream or goal is actually from the head.


Ask yourself, “Is this desire a reaction to fear?”


Some of our desires are based on a reaction to fear.

For example, “I’m going to create an off-grid home that is totally self-sustainable so that I am no longer feeling insecure or fearful about the changes that could happen in the world.”

OR “I’m going to attract a partner who I can feel safe around and who has my back when I feel threatened in the world.”

Heart manifestation is moving forward towards joy and wholeness as opposed to running from fear. The great news is that you will learn to recognise the difference in these two intentions for your life.

Surrender is simply knowing that it is important to spend intentional time each day living in your heart and opening your heart in love, appreciation, gratitude, joy and compassion.

Be grateful for what you already have and for the lessons and learning that has helped you expand.

Move towards the pleasure of creatorship. It becomes easier when you stay anchored in surrender, knowing that Source has expansive opportunities in store for you.

Remember, you don’t have to try and control that destiny through writing a full 10-page spreadsheet with all your specific goals and then reading it every day.

Yes, you can just allow yourself to be here now.

Learning to Surrender and Live in the Moment

Now, this brings me to the most important piece of this manifesting puzzle!

I’ve discovered we must be careful getting caught up in our desires because we’re often missing out on being present in the here and now.

Because we can get really stuck in that overthinking process.  Thinking that we have to control and manifest every single detail in our lives.

But truly finding peace is being here now.

You have to surrender to be here now.

You have to be able to let go of any fears about tomorrow in order to be here now.

Because this idea of the future or the past will pull you out of the now moment.

Surrender means letting go of the idea of tomorrow or yesterday and just being grateful for now. 

Surrender is that knowing that you are in good hands and Source is living through you.

You will then naturally manifest out of the joy of being present.

It doesn’t mean you won’t have dreams of the future and the direction you envision yourself moving, it just means that you recognise that all these future dreams are always in your heart.

And importantly, that these dreams are going to be for your expansion.

Now, we’re not talking about the happily-ever-after Disney dream. Surrendered heart-based manifesting is optimising yourself to move to the best timeline for the evolution of your soul.

It’s about guiding you to be the best you can in this experience; for yourself and others. So, forget the Disney tale. It’s okay to have dreams but make sure they’re from the heart and they’re out of pure joy, play and creatorship.

Ensure your dreams are not from the head out of fear or running away from something within you.

So, Can We Do Both?

Yes, you can absolutely work with manifesting and surrendering at the same time.

It’s time we recognise that we’re here to create out of love, not out of fear. When we’re in the heart in love we create beautiful things. We can just be here now in each moment, one step at a time receiving that inspiration for what we’re going to create next.

Don’t worry, you don’t have to know it all now. Know that you are okay when you surrender and stay in your heart. Because you will be directly manifesting for your soul’s highest evolution.

Enjoy the natural process of heart-based creating.

I’d love to hear from you – let me know how you get on!

Ready to Master Your Mind and Live in Your Heart?

Malise Banks is an Intuitive Coach and Counsellor who helps you master your mind and live in your heart! Her clients reviews are filled with stories of big shifts she has helped them with. So, whether you are navigating neurodiversity, anxiety, addiction, perfectionism, or relationships – Malise is the coach for you. 

View Malise’s profile

Coach Malise Banks - Ruffle Mentoring
Malise Banks - Intuitive Coach & Counsellor


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