Self-esteem vS Compassion
Why Increasing Self-Esteem Does Not Work?
“Women must reclaim their power in order to create a healthier society and find lasting happiness”
– Kristen Neff
If we look at self-esteem vs compassion, it’s easy to see that increasing self-esteem does not work. Instead we need to grow our self-compassion.
Why is that?
The pursuit of high self-esteem has created a competitive culture. Where we need to feel special and above average to feel okay (being called “average” is an insult!). Trying to achieve self-esteem, is an emotional roller-coaster ride. Our sense of self-worth rises and falls in lock-step with our latest success or failure. Sound familiar?
Drawing on her wealth of research and personal life story, Kristin Neff believes women can grow their self- compassion to succeed in the workplace. To be a caregiver without burning out, be authentic in relationships, and end the silence around sexual harassment and abuse.
No matter how successful we are, as a parent, worker, or partner – it’s never enough. There is always someone richer, thinner, smarter (the list goes on), that makes us feel small in comparison.
Give Self-Compassion a Go!
There is another way to feel good about ourselves. Let’s look at Self-esteem vs Self-compassion.
Do you find you tend to mercilessly judge and criticise yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings? What if developing self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, whoever said you were supposed to be perfect?
With self-compassion, you don’t have to feel better than others to feel good about yourself. It also offers more emotional stability than self- esteem because self-compassion is always there for you. When you’re on top of the world and when you fall flat on your face. You can love yourself regardless.
More About Kristen
Dr Kristin Neff is a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, creating a scale to measure the construct almost 20 years ago. In addition to writing numerous academic articles and book chapters on the topic, she is author of the book ‘Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself,’ and her new book ‘Fierce Self- Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive.’
Make sure you watch the video where Kristin explains this in detail and what we can do to get off the self-esteem rollercoaster!