“There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in” – Leonard Cohen
Do you ever feel that happiness is elusive? I certainly did!
If suffering depression. All meaning is not lost!
I had been running my coaching and counseling business, and it had been thriving. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, I had a rude awakening. It was completely unplanned and very uncomfortable.
Before this awakening took place in my personal life, I had set out on a quest. I asked for my soul to truly take the lead and guide this body and mind through this human experience. I was seeking a new order.
This is in opposition to the inverted way which I’d been taught, where my programming was in charge and dictating my thoughts, words, and deeds. It was time to have a more integrated approach. My spirit was calling me to greater places and helping me understand that with depression, all meaning is not lost!
1. Liberation from External Attachments
To say I was tired is an understatement. I grew weary of the Malise personality that was causing chaos and fear in this life. I had been earnestly seeking to reverse this order so that my spirit was guiding this life experience and where I could truly find fulfillment and joy. Deep down, I knew that I had it around the wrong way. My mind was in charge and my heart was the servant. I understood that turning this on its head would ensure my heart was in charge and my mind would be the servant. When this happened my true authenticity would shine. I would encounter fewer false or illusory motivations in my life.
2. The Illusion of External Fulfillment
Like anyone else, I experienced numerous childhood traumas and acquired disempowering beliefs that resulted in struggle, pain, and suffering. Eventually, I reached a point where I recognised that the perfect career does not bring fulfillment, and that billions of dollars do not guarantee security. Ultimately, external substances and material things do not provide pleasure. Security, pleasure, and fulfillment are all to be found within.
3. Letting Go
One day I woke up feeling as if a train had hit me full on. The complete feeling of numbness and disinterest in the world overwhelmed me. It was as if nothing mattered. This feeling could be likened to the sudden severance of all the cords to everything I was attached to in this life. It was a profoundly unpleasant sensation.
4. The Darkness is not Always as it Seems - All Meaning is Not Lost!
From there, I fell very flat into a numb kind of depression. Depression is often experienced as helplessness, hopelessness, and a state of apathy. However, contrary to mainstream theory, depression is not a bad thing; if you can look at it from a higher perspective, it is a tool or a gift that we can use to become detached from those things that are no longer serving us.
5. Embracing the Darkness for Transformation
The way we move through these periods of darkness, voids, or limbo states is vital. This is an opportunity to re-imagine our self-image and identity and change ourselves from the inside out. First, we need to accept every part of this experience instead of trying to fix it, bypass it, or distract ourselves from it.
6. The Gift of Stillness
To be completely honest, I am grateful that when I went through my most intense dark night, that I had already been gifted the knowledge and wisdom to recognise the importance of shadow work. Depression is an opportunity for us to be with ourselves. It’s a chance to shed light on those things we’ve been afraid to look at. It’s remembering that with depression – all meaning is not lost.
7. Emerging from the Darkness
I’ve now emerged out the other side of my ‘dark night of the soul’ and it feels incredible. I’m able to experience a profound sense of peace that I didn’t think was possible. With an increasing amount of stillness in my life, and understanding the importance of simplicity, I am now able to see aspects of life that I didn’t see before.
8. The Power of Present Moment Living
How do we move forward after the big shift in awareness that a conscious ‘dark night of the soul’ brings? It’s important that when we go through this kind of void and detached experience, we must let go of the self-image we were clinging to for self-worth. Moreover, this old self-identity needs to be re-examined and re-imagined. This process must be executed via the heart, where the mind has become still and is now in servitude to the heart.
9. Happiness Beyond the Mind
It’s important to remember that the whole idea of happiness is that we don’t live in the mind anymore. The mind is where suffering is created. The heart is where we are empowered and authentically ourselves. When we move down into the heart, we can reimagine ourselves in a new light of consciousness. Our new identity will no longer be based on attachments in the external world.
10. Embracing Stillness for Fear Reduction
What’s the other side of the coin of consciousness? It’s when we’re able to stay present and our minds are still. It’s where we no longer create horror stories that form the definition of anxiety. This is when we’re then able to experience a lot less of these rollercoaster fluctuations of fear. Fear can only come from the imaginings of the past and the future.
11. Acknowledging the Journey
If you are going through a period of depression, otherwise known as the dark night of the soul, just know that this too shall pass. Most importantly though, don’t try and make it pass now through escaping or coping mechanisms. This is being unconscious. We must allow the alchemising process to transform our soul via consciously holding space for ourselves during these times.
12. Reaching Out for Support
Allow yourself to feel everything that is coming up, including the hopelessness, apathy, fear, sadness, grief, frustration, and anger. Hold yourself with loving appreciation for courageously releasing these heavy energies and old superficial identities. They will never have the same hold over you again once you release them in loving validation. Allow whatever it is that is coming through you to be released as you let go of your old self-image and attachments to the external world. You are the one you’ve been looking for.
13. Guidance and Support
Rest assured. If you are currently experiencing the disorienting emotions of depression, please reach out for help. I can guide you to face the parts of you that are ready for healing and release as you let go of old programs that no longer serve you.
Find Your Light!
Malise Banks is an Intuitive Coach and Counsellor who helps you master your mind and live in your heart! Her client’s reviews are filled with stories of big shifts she has helped them with. So, if you’re struggling with depression – Malise has been there and is so ready to help you through.